Words of Remembrance: Quick Tips for Funeral Speeches

Updated on
Words of Remembrance - Quick Tips - Jonathan Hepner Funerals

Being asked to share words of remembrance at a funeral is an honour, but it can feel daunting. This quick guide provides essential tips for delivering a short, meaningful tribute without the stress. Whether you have days or hours to prepare, these practical tips will help you honour your loved one with confidence.

For comprehensive guidance on longer eulogies, see our complete eulogy guide.

What Are Words of Remembrance?

Words of remembrance are brief personal tributes – typically 1-3 minutes – that share specific memories or reflect on what someone meant to you. They’re often less formal than a full eulogy and focus on personal connection rather than comprehensive life history.

Perfect for:

  • Multiple speakers sharing different perspectives
  • Those who prefer brevity over lengthy speeches
  • Last-minute requests to speak
  • Sharing a specific memory or quality
  • Complementing a formal eulogy

If you’re also managing funeral arrangements, this shorter format may feel more manageable whilst grieving.

The Golden Rules

Keep It Short

Aim for 1-3 minutes (200-400 words)

  • It’s almost impossible to summarise a person’s life in a few minutes
  • Focus on one or two poignant facts or highlights
  • Quality over quantity – one meaningful story beats several rushed points

You Don’t Need to Memorise

You are not expected to memorise your words

  • Print your notes clearly (large font, double-spaced)
  • Refer to them as often as you need
  • No one will judge you for reading

Remember Your Audience

Public speaking can be difficult, especially at a funeral service

  • You’ll be surrounded by loving family and friends
  • Your audience will be one of the most supportive you’ll ever have
  • They’re sharing your difficulty and want you to succeed
  • Giving words of remembrance is a noble gesture people will appreciate, admire, and remember

Remember, tears aren’t a sign of weakness – they’re a natural part of grieving.

Quick Preparation Checklist

What to Say

Choose one focus:

  • ☑ A specific memory that captures who they were
  • ☑ A quality you admired most
  • ☑ How they impacted your life
  • ☑ A lesson they taught you
  • ☑ What you’ll miss most

Simple structure:

  1. Introduce yourself and your connection
  2. Share your main point (memory/quality/impact)
  3. Close with what they meant to you

Obtain feedback from those you trust

  • Family and friends can offer another viewpoint
  • Another person’s memories will often assist you
  • Fresh perspective helps ensure you haven’t missed anything important

What to Avoid

  • ✗ Trying to cover their entire life
  • ✗ Inside jokes only a few people understand
  • ✗ Focusing on how they died
  • ✗ Controversial or uncomfortable topics
  • ✗ Speaking for longer than planned

If you’re uncertain about what to say, our guide on what to say at a funeral provides additional guidance.

Delivery Tips

Before You Speak

Practical preparation:

  • ☑ Dress appropriately for the occasion
  • ☑ Print backup copies of your notes
  • ☑ Arrive early to compose yourself
  • ☑ Have water nearby
  • ☑ Know where you’ll stand/if there’s a microphone

Have a backup plan:

  • Keep a written copy you can read from if emotions overwhelm
  • Designate someone who can step in and continue if required
  • Let the celebrant know you might need support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, read our guide on when to seek help for grief.

While Speaking

Delivery essentials:

  • Speak slowly and clearly – slower than feels natural
  • Don’t rush – take your time, especially through emotional parts
  • Pause for breath – silence is okay
  • Make eye contact with supportive faces when comfortable

If you lose your words or become emotional:

  • There will be people to support you
  • Pause, take a few breaths, and carry on when ready
  • It’s okay to cry – tears show how much you cared
  • You don’t need to apologise

Managing Emotions

It’s okay to show emotion:

  • Tears show how much you cared
  • The audience understands the difficulty
  • Being emotional doesn’t mean you’ve failed
  • Take your time – no one is rushing you

If you’re struggling:

  • Pause and breathe
  • Look at your notes
  • Take a sip of water
  • Signal your backup person if needed
  • Remember: attempting this tribute is what matters

Quick Templates

Template 1: Memory-Based

“[Name] and I met [when/where]. I’ll always remember [specific memory]. This moment showed me [quality]. I’ll miss [specific thing].”

Template 2: Quality-Focused

“If I had to describe [Name] in one word, it would be [quality]. They showed this through [example]. This is how I’ll remember them.”

Template 3: Impact-Based

“[Name] changed my life by [action/lesson]. Because of them, I [how you’re different]. Thank you, [Name], for [specific gift they gave you].”

Common Questions

How long should words of remembrance be?

1-3 minutes is ideal (approximately 200-400 words). This is long enough to be meaningful but short enough to maintain composure and not exhaust the audience, especially if multiple people are speaking.

What if I’m too emotional to speak?

Have someone on standby to read your words if needed. Alternatively, submit your words to the celebrant to read on your behalf. There’s no shame in being too emotional – it shows love.

Can I use humour?

Yes, if appropriate to the person’s character. Light, affectionate humour that celebrates their personality can bring comfort. Just ensure it’s respectful and won’t offend anyone present.

Should I practice?

Absolutely. Practice out loud several times:

  • Become familiar with the delivery
  • Identify emotional sections
  • Time yourself
  • Feel more comfortable presenting it

Practice and become familiar with the delivery of your speech so you will be comfortable presenting it.

What if I’m speaking alongside a full eulogy?

Perfect! Words of remembrance complement formal eulogies by:

  • Adding personal, specific memories
  • Providing different perspectives
  • Representing various relationships (friend, colleague, community member)
  • Keeping your tribute brief (1-2 minutes) allows space for others

Can I write something the night before?

Yes. Words of remembrance are meant to be personal and from the heart – they don’t require extensive preparation. A simple, honest reflection is more valuable than a perfectly crafted speech.

The Most Important Thing

Showing up and speaking from the heart is what matters most. Your words don’t need to be eloquent or perfectly delivered. The fact that you cared enough to stand and honour their memory is the tribute itself.

A eulogy may be one of the most difficult speeches you’ll deliver, but your audience will also be one of the most supportive. They’re sharing your difficulty and want you to succeed.

Understanding different types of grief can help you be compassionate with yourself during this emotional task.

Need More Help?

For Comprehensive Guidance

Read our complete guide on how to write and present a eulogy for detailed advice, examples, and step-by-step instructions.

For Personal Support

Contact Jonathan Hepner Funerals:

  • Phone: (03) 5223 3100
  • Email: admin@jhfunerals.com.au

We can help you:

  • Structure your tribute
  • Review what you’ve written
  • Provide delivery tips
  • Arrange backup support on the day

If you’re also supporting someone else who is grieving, we’re here to help with that too.